I feel so defeated

In the first place I should not have trusted this person. I couldn’t vent it out somewhere else but here. I’m not sure if anyone reading this could relate to my situation. So, here’s a friend, you thought the whole time a shoulder you can cry on. You told this individual all your fears, your aspirations, your mistakes and all the things you wish you could change in your life. And he/she would make you feel that you’re doing great, everything will be fine. So in return I tried to help this person and gave what I could give. Then, I just found out that the entire world knew about my life story, all my well-kept secrets (don’t we all have this?). And my so called friend turned her/his back from me. Dropped me like a hot potato with no one to turn to. I am so upset, so disappointed. Like what I said, so defeated. And it’s true, it’s all my mistake for trusting too much. I’ve been deeply hurt and how I wished I never trusted. Well that’s a lesson learned, you make a mistake and find out the hard way. I know time will heal, it’s not the end of the world, there’s always a shining hope. I just need to air this out. The damage was already done and there’s nothing I can do about it. Thank you for bearing with me, for reading my rants. I should be okay, I’ll be fine.

Will you ever admit that you’re wrong?

I noticed that there are so many people who seem to find it too hard to accept their mistakes. But for me, I would rather admit that I was wrong rather than continue feeling the same guilt as I go on. I would like to let go all the guilt feelings, and that is why choosing to admit my wrong is better than not admitting it at all. I even say to myself, “Oh that was so dumb, I should not have done that.” You might have a different reason than mine, or maybe your point of view is not similar to mine but I think accepting your own mistake is the best assurance that people are not perfect, we all make mistakes and it’s okay to admit the truth, that you also make mistakes. I can’t hide all the time knowing that my conscience will bother me the whole time. So, admit and get it over.

It’s been a while

Yeah, it’s been a while… I almost forgot that I have a blog. It’s funny to think that we go on with our lives and deal with whatever is going on, then suddenly you stop and think that time have passed by and I never smelled the flowers on the side of the road. I need to unwind, so I’m back here again. My birthday this month, and what’s so special about it is that it’s just the same ordinary day. Do you even celebrate your birthday? I look at it this way, birthdays are like Christmases. When I was a child, I would wonder and get so excited about my birthday. I think of gifts my parents would have for me, or the ones from my friends. Not anymore though, as you get older what was ideal back then is not as special anymore. I don’t know what’s your view on this. I have been into a lot of struggle lately. Not financially but something more personal. I’m trying to console myself after a terrible situation, I accepted my mistakes and put a brave face to what troubles me. It’s so hard when you get depressed and there’s just nobody to talk to. So here I am. I just pray I can get over it. I keep asking myself why is it when you trust so much, people do take advantage of you? All I did was trust somebody. And boy, I found out later how wrong was I, how stupid I was. Then comes the blame, I blame myself for trusting too much. I thought I was doing something good for others but I came into realization that I was being used. With my trust broken I don’t think I will ever, ever trust somebody again. Now I’m going back to bed, I’m not sure if I can even sleep. But I’ll try… for now.

Spellbinder

Just another fantasy art I put together. I’ll be gone for a while, till next time.